Himachal Forum

[risky]

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID


SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:


(1)

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open
Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a
pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have
done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I
wrote 'click'."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(2)


Customer: "I received the software update you sent,
but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get
it to work?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(3)


Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft
Word."

Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me
what it says."

Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and
Recovery disk'."

Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(4)


Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your
software?"

Tech Support: ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(5)

Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of
the screen,
canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech support:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(6)


Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer: "A white one."

Tech support :

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(7)


Tech Support: "What operating system are you
running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

Tech support:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(

Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an
illegal abortion."

Tech support :

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(9)

Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(10)

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

Tech support:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(11)

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer.
I urgently need to print document, but the computer
won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system
disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy
inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an
Intel inside."

Tech support :

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(12)

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a
problem.
We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(13)

Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech support:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(14)

Best of the Lot

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to
report that
his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup
files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to
replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to
change the startup
and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to
tell me the command.

Tech support:


10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is
right.
The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech support: (hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers
this,
but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix
the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of
the CONFIG.SYS .
Letme know how it goes.


10 minutes later.


User: It didn't work. The power supply is still
smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS
didn't come with NOSMOKE.
Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will
give you the file.
Let me know how it goes.


1 hour later.


User: I need a new power supply.

Tech support: How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support: (hush hush)

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what
you said,
and he started asking questions about the make of
power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible
with NOSMOKE.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---

(15)

Customer care officer: I need a product identification
no: right now
and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust: sure

CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My
Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the #### do I find your
computer?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---
_________________
~~"Do not settle for the one you can live with,
wait for the one you can never live without."~~

{*"GALAT NAHI KI JAMANE MEIN LAZWAAB HAIN HUM,
SAMAJH SAKE NA HUMKO KOI WO KITAAB HAIN HUM...."*}

[megrisoft]

Nice jokes. Keep on posting such kind of posts.

[risky]

thanks meg

SOME GOOD SLOGANS

Sign on a railway station at Patna:
Aana free, jaana free, pakde gaye to khana free.


Seen on a famous beauty parlor in hindi lyrics forum:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother!


Seen on a bulletin board:
Success is relative. More the success, more the relatives.


Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Bombay:
We need your heads to run our business.


A traffic slogan:
Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they never will be.....


Sign in a restaurant:
All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.


THE BEST ONE :
Its GOD's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations such as Jaish, Lashkar etc.
Its our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them and God.
_________________
~~"Do not settle for the one you can live with,
wait for the one you can never live without."~~

{*"GALAT NAHI KI JAMANE MEIN LAZWAAB HAIN HUM,
SAMAJH SAKE NA HUMKO KOI WO KITAAB HAIN HUM...."*}

[arti]

Nice one risky,good job.
_________________
Megrisoft Team Member
Article Directory

[megrisoft]

hahahahaha....